The Chair in the Bedroom
“And why it’s not just “the chair,” it’s a whole ADHD moment.”
You know the chair..... That one in the bedroom....
The one every ADHDer seems to have the one that ends up buried under clothes that
are in that mysterious grey zone between clean and dirty. .
They’re not ready for the wash because you’ve only worn them once, but for some reason, they just never make it those last few steps into the wardrobe. So instead… they go on the chair.
And before you know it, the chair becomes the pile.
And the pile becomes the mountain.
And suddenly, you’re wondering where your favourite top went, only to realise it’s halfway down a fabric avalanche you now have to excavate.
For a long time, that chair was my personal nemesis. It was a constant reminder of the things I hadn’t done, the small tasks that had snowballed into something that felt way too big.
Then one day, I came across a strategy online that sounded almost too simple:
Don’t get rid of the chair change it.
So I did.
I swapped the chair for a longer stool one that still allowed for clothes to be out, but gave me a bit more structure.
I started folding items before placing them down jumpers in one pile, trousers in another, exercise gear in another.
It wasn’t perfect. The piles were still there.
But they were tidy piles.
Visible piles. Manageable piles.
And here’s what changed:
At the end of each week, instead of feeling defeated by the mountain, I could just scoop up each little pile and put it straight where it belonged.
It didn’t eliminate the clothes completely.
But it eliminated the overwhelm.
Because for me, the overwhelm wasn’t about the clothes.
It was about the chaos not knowing what was clean, what wasn’t, or where anything was.
Now I can still wear things again during the week if I want to, and when Sunday rolls around, I do a quick tidy and it’s done. Once a week.
That’s my rhythm.
That’s my habit.
The ADHD Coaching Perspective
This is what I love about ADHD-friendly strategies: they don’t have to look “traditional.”
So often, we’re told to “just put it away right away.” But for ADHD brains, that doesn’t always make sense. It’s not laziness it’s executive function. The number of tiny steps between “take it off” and “hang it up” can feel like ten too many.
The real key?
Finding what works for you.
Here’s what this little story teaches:
● You don’t have to throw away the chair you can tweak it.
● You don’t have to “fix” the habit you can reshape it.
● You don’t have to meet someone else’s version of tidy you can define your own.
A strategy doesn’t need to be perfect to be effective.
Try These “Chair Alternatives”
If the stool idea doesn’t work for you, here are a few other ADHD-friendly twists:
The “Clothes Ladder” Get a blanket ladder or a coat rack. Hang items on rungs or hooks by category outerwear, jeans, worn-once tops. It looks intentional, but still lets you see everything.
The “Basket System” Have two baskets: one for “can wear again” and one for “needs washing.” When the “wear again” basket starts to overflow, that’s your cue to reset.
The “Halfway Hamper” A smaller basket just for semi-clean clothes. It’s not the floor, not the wardrobe it’s the in-between zone that helps you stay realistic.
The “Weekly Reset Zone” Set a day or time that feels natural to you maybe Sunday morning, maybe every second Wednesday and make that your clothes-reset time.
Pair it with music or a podcast so it feels less like a chore and more like a ritual.
The Real Message
The goal isn’t to get rid of the chair. It’s to get rid of the shame that comes with it.
Whether you tidy daily, weekly, or monthly doesn’t matter.
What matters is that you choose the rhythm that works for you one that keeps you calm, not overwhelmed.
If you don’t start feeling that “ugh, I can’t deal with this” sensation until week two, then that’s your cue.
That’s your schedule. And if you do it regularly enough, even if it’s only once a week, guess what? That’s still a habit.
ADHD strategies don’t have to look neat.
They just have to work.
And when you build one that feels like yours, it becomes something you can actually stick with without guilt, without burnout, and without losing another jumper to the chair pile ever again.
If this resonated, explore more calm-making strategies with Fi → ADHD Parenting
